Humor Quote by Darynda Jones — Inspiring Words on Life, Love & Wisdom

“You called me at four thirty-four....I hate four thirty-four. I think four thirty-four should be banned and replaced with something more reasonable, like, say, nine twelve.”

“My powers of persuasion are only as strong as the bullshit I have to back it up.”

“I was never really certain why he scared the bejesus out of me. Nothing scared me growing up. I’ve been playing with dead people since the day I was born, so it’s good thing, yet the Big Bad scared me. Which brings me to the reason I called.”

“Never knock on death's door. Ring the doorbell then run. He totally hates that.”

“I may not look like much, but I'm an expert at pretending to be a ninja.”

“I like to see the glass as half full, hopefully of jack daniels.”

“Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we.”

“So it's true. You can walk in sunlight. I thought perhaps it might have worn off.”

“Arthur blinked at the screens and felt he was missing something important. Suddenly he realized what it was.”

“I'm amazing and studly, but I have limits.”

“I think hiccup cures were really invented for the amusement of the patient's friends.”

“You see, I, unlike you, have been made a prefect, which means that I, unlike you, have the power to hand out punishments.”