Humor Quote by Eoin Colfer — Inspiring Words on Life, Love & Wisdom

“Artemis: "Right, brothers. Onward. Imagine yourself seated at a cafe in Montmartre.”

“That was horrible. Horrible. That poor little guy.”

“Who are you?" he asked.”

“You know, Miss Holly, you look very dramatic like that, backlit by the fire. Very attractive, if I may say so. I know you shared a moment passionne with Artemis which he subsequently fouled up with his typical boorish behavior. Let me just throw something out there for you to consider while we're chasing the probe: I share Artemis's passion but not his boorishness. No pressure; just think about it.”

“I bet," said Mulch, "that you would set the world on fire just to watch it burn.”

“What's that supposed to mean? A wolf's head on a stick. Big wolf barbecue tonight? Bring your own wolf?”

“Can't stay long, Mother," he said. "I'm up front, the prefects have got two compartments to themselves-”

“A perfect person is easy to love. But when somebody likes all your imperfections, well, that's when you know they really mean it.”

“I have nothing to declare except my genius.”

“He couldn’t see why people made such a fuss about people eating their silly old fruit anyway, but life would be a lot less fun if they didn’t. And there was never an apple, in Adam’s opinion, that wasn’t worth the trouble you got into for eating it.”

“Sex without smiling is as sickly and as base as vodka and tonic without ice.”

“Everyone knows revenge is a dish best served when you've had enough time to build up enough vitriol and fury.”