Humor Quote by Ilona Andrews — Inspiring Words on Life, Love & Wisdom

“I've never created a riot before. I did cause a brawl at the last formal. A large number of young women there actually arrived with the expectation of seducing me into matrimony, and a couple of their mothers came to blows. It was hilari—I mean, dreadful. Simply dreadful.”

“I gave him my best cryptic smile. He did not fall down to his feet, kiss my shoes, and promise me the world. I must be getting rusty.”

“It seems that the young woman made some indelicate suggestion of a threesome...When I got there, Miss Nash was standing by the hot tub in a small bikini, pointing the business end of a SIG-Sauer P-226 at her fella and concerned members of the hotel staff, while dunking the scantily clad female's head under the water and asking, "Who's diving for clams now, bitch?”

“What’s this”

“Georgie, stop trying to resurrect the shoes. They were never alive in the first place.”

“What's that?”

“Never knock on death's door. Ring the doorbell then run. He totally hates that.”

“Boys. I'd turn gay if they weren't so sexy.”

“You smell good," he whispered into my neck. He was warm against me. Instinctively, I arched back into him and smiled.”

“A crossbow?” Pigeon asked.”

“Just sit tight. Reinforcements should be here soon. Hopefully nothing happens before-”

“I do not," I felt oddly appalled by her statement. "I'm an excellent liar. Ask my dentist. He swears I floss regularly.”