Humor Quote by Ilona Andrews — Inspiring Words on Life, Love & Wisdom

“Curran looked back at me. "Why is it you always attract creeps?”

“It seems that the young woman made some indelicate suggestion of a threesome...When I got there, Miss Nash was standing by the hot tub in a small bikini, pointing the business end of a SIG-Sauer P-226 at her fella and concerned members of the hotel staff, while dunking the scantily clad female's head under the water and asking, "Who's diving for clams now, bitch?”

“I have a serious question.”

“I've never created a riot before. I did cause a brawl at the last formal. A large number of young women there actually arrived with the expectation of seducing me into matrimony, and a couple of their mothers came to blows. It was hilari—I mean, dreadful. Simply dreadful.”

“I gave him my best cryptic smile. He did not fall down to his feet, kiss my shoes, and promise me the world. I must be getting rusty.”

“Georgie, stop trying to resurrect the shoes. They were never alive in the first place.”

“Shane, in case we don’t … don’t come out of this, I wanted to say…”

“I like to write when I feel spiteful. It is like having a good sneeze.”

“I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.”

“There is one other reason for dressing well, namely that dogs respect it, and will not attack you in good clothes.”

“The blood you spill is the blood of kings,” seethed Dunyasha. “You are not fit for such a gift.”

“It is worth repeating at this point the theories that Ford had come up with, on his first encounter with human beings, to account for their peculiar habit of continually stating and restating the very very obvious, as in "It's a nice day," or "You're very tall," or "So this is it, we're going to die.”