Humor Quote by Rachel Caine — Inspiring Words on Life, Love & Wisdom

“Crap, are you thinking what I'm thinking?”

“What’s your name?' she asked, and surprised herself. But for some reason, she wanted to know.”

“Yeah, I get it; you're a vampire," she said. "Creepy. And okay, a little hot, I admit.”

“He swallowed and shifted his weight a little uneasily, and then said, very quietly, his lips almost touching hers, 'Promise me you'll marry me. Not now. Someday. Because I need to know.”

“She came awake, stomach rumbling, and opened her eyes to see a plate being held right under her nose.”

“He's not doing anything he shouldn't be doing, right?”

“What a refreshing mind you have, young man. There really is nothing quite like total ignorance, is there?”

“My tendency to make up stories and lie compulsively for the sake of my own amusement takes up a good portion of my day and provides me with a peace of mind not easily attainable in this economic climate.”

“A pessimist is a man who thinks everybody is as nasty as himself, and hates them for it.”

“That's Bill Brady. He goes through months of withdrawal after football season is over. In order to cope with football withdrawal, he'll stand in font of his window that overlooks the street and look for pedestrians. After he spots one, he'll make a beeline to his porch, then pause for a bit to crouch down and yell out 'hut hut hike' before running full bore to tackle or sack the passerby.”

“That would be a good thing for them to cut on my tombstone: Wherever she went, including here, it was against her better judgment.”

“I'm glad mushrooms are against the law, because I took them one time, and you know what happened to me? I laid in a field of green grass for four hours going, "My God! I love everything." Yeah, now if that isn't a hazard to our country … how are we gonna justify arms dealing when we realize that we're all one?”