Humor Quote by Janet Evanovich — Inspiring Words on Life, Love & Wisdom

“If I gave you a pity position it wouldn't be in my office.”

“Babe," Ranger said. "You're looking a little strung out. Is there anything I should know?”

“Either get out of bed or else take your clothes off," he said. "I'm not in the mood to compromise.”

“He [Ranger] stopped in front of my parents' house, and we both looked to the door. My mother and my grandmother were standing there, watching us.”

“She'll be back," Ranger said. "But not tonight.”

“Ranger is an unusual name," she managed. "Is it a nickname?”

“I'm the crazy girly captain, Remember?”

“I’ll make Goyle do lines, it’ll kill him, he hates writing,” said Ron happily. He lowered his voice to Goyle’s low grunt and, screwing up his face in a look of pained concentration, mimed writing in midair. “I... must... not... look... like... a... baboon’s... backside.”

“Grumpy. Angry. Stupid. How long since last sleep, question?”

“Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so.”

“It has been remarked (by a lady infinitely cleverer than the present author) how kindly disposed the world in general feels to young people who either die or marry. Imagine then the interest that surrounded Miss Wintertowne! No young lady ever had such advantages before: for she died upon the Tuesday, was raised to life in the early hours of Wednesday morning, and was married upon the Thursday; which some people thought too much excitement for one week.”

“Tell you what, you let me go, and I’ll ask you plenty of questions about your race. Until then, I’m slightly distracted with how this little vacation on the good ship Holy Sh*t is going to pan out for me.”