Humor Quote by P.G. Wodehouse — Inspiring Words on Life, Love & Wisdom

“It is a good rule in life never to apologize. The right sort of people do not want apologies, and the wrong sort take a mean advantage of them.”

“There are moments, Jeeves, when one asks oneself, 'Do trousers matter?'”

“Gussie, a glutton for punishment, stared at himself in the mirror.”

“Red hair, sir, in my opinion, is dangerous.”

“Freddie experienced the sort of abysmal soul-sadness which afflicts one of Tolstoy's Russian peasants when, after putting in a heavy day's work strangling his father, beating his wife, and dropping the baby into the city's reservoir, he turns to the cupboards, only to find the vodka bottle empty.”

“He had just about enough intelligence to open his mouth when he wanted to eat, but certainly no more.”

“In the name of the Pizza Lord. Charge!”

“Everyone is guilty at one time or another of throwing out questions that beg to be ignored, but mothers seem to have a market on the supply. "Do you want a spanking or do you want to go to bed?" Don't you want to save some of the pizza for your brother?" Wasn't there any change?”

“You can only be young once. But you can always be immature.”

“There are hardly any excesses of the most crazed psychopath that cannot easily be duplicated by a normal kindly family man who just comes in to work every day and has a job to do.”

“In my opinion, we don't devote nearly enough scientific research to finding a cure for jerks.”

“If you say ‘we’re in this together,’ I’m going to hurl.”