Humor Quote by Rick Riordan — Inspiring Words on Life, Love & Wisdom

“Felix believed that the answer to every problem involved penguins; but it wasn't fair to birds, and I was getting tired of teleporting them back home. Somewhere in Antarctica, a whole flock of Magellanic penguins were undergoing psychotherapy.”

“You know how hard it is to feel like an extreme falcon-headed combat machine when somebody calls you "chicken man"?”

“We'd spent maybe ten minutes together, during which time I'd accidentally swung a sword at her, she'd saved my life, and I'd run away chased by a band of supernatural killing machines. You know, your typical chance meeting.”

“Rachel: You're a half-blood, too?”

“He cleared his throat and held up one hand dramatically.”

“Jeez, Hazel," Percy said, "tell your horse to watch his language.”

“I hope they're in town. I want to face them!” Regin stood and brandished one of the two swords that she usually wore in sheaths crisscrossed on her back in addition to the dagger sheath she customarily wore on her forearm. "I'll lunch on their balls!”

“Mistletoe," said Luna dreamily, pointing at a large clump of white berries placed almost over Harry's head. He jumped out from under it.”

“I do this real moron thing, and it's called thinking. And apparently I'm not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions.”

“Of all the crap, crap, crappy nights I've ever had in the whole of my crap life. On a scale of one to 10, we're talking...a minus 6. And it's not like I even have very high standards.”

“I can only assume," said Jace, "that mortal emotions amuse you because you have none of your own.”

“Yeah, but the lost diadem," said Michael Corner, rolling his eyes, "is”