Humor Quote by James Patterson — Inspiring Words on Life, Love & Wisdom

“Now, Max, I think we both know your parents aren't missionaries.”

“I didn't know a van could go up on two wheels like that, for so long." -Nudge”

“Basically, I have two speeds.... Hostile or smart-aleck. Your choice.”

“That was the funniest thing I'd heard in days.”

“Yes, Max, you are going to die. Just like everybody else.”

“Some kids get called 'bundles of joy' or 'slices of heaven' or 'dreams come true.' We got 'the fifty-fourth generation of DNA experiments.' Doesn't have the same warm and fuzzy feel. But maybe I'm oversensitive.”

“Right," she said, "We're going to the Land of the Dead and I shouldn't think negative.”

“I try to stay in a constant state of confusion just because of the expression it leaves on my face.”

“I heard the man and woman cry a warning as I frantically racked my brain for some sort of throat-repairing spell, which I was clearly about to need. Of course the only words that I actually managed to yell at the werewolf as he ran at me were, 'BAD DOG!'”

“Alec?" Magnus was staring at him. He had dispatched the remaining Iblis demons, and the square was empty but for the two of them. "Did you just- did you just save my life?”

“I could see that, if not actually disgruntled, he was far from being gruntled.”

“All you have to do, I tell myself, is keep your mouth shut and look stupid. It shouldn't be that hard.”