Humor Quote by Groucho Marx — Inspiring Words on Life, Love & Wisdom

“Those are my principles, and if you don't like them...well I have others.”

“We'll meet at the theater tonight. I'll hold your seat 'til you get there. Once you get there; you're on your own.”

“From the moment I picked up your book until I put it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.”

“One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I'll never know.”

“I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.”

“The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made.”

“Mysteries force a man to think, and so injure his health.”

“Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he'll buy a funny hat. Talk to a hungry man about fish, and you're a consultant.”

“Coaching 101: First you build the team, and then you build the torture chamber for underperformers.”

“His sentences didn't seem to have any verbs, which was par for a politician. All nouns, no action.”

“I've had great success being a total idiot.”

“Thus, though I dislike to differ with such a great man,”