Humor Quote by Jennifer Crusie — Inspiring Words on Life, Love & Wisdom

“He loved her all he could; but he couldn't love her very much.”

“You want sensitive and understanding, stick with the therapist.You want great,”

“I could shove this swizzle stick through his heart, Min thought. She wouldn’t do it, of course. The stick was plastic and not nearly pointed enough on the end. Also people didn’t do things like that in Southern Ohio. A sawed-off shotgun, that was the ticket.”

“What i'm trying to tell you," Min said, "is that im going to grow up to be one of those chubby old ladies. It's in my genes. Like self raising flour. i'm going to pouf.”

“Heartache often drives us to consume things we wouldn't otherwise, such as an entire pint of Caramel Pecan Perfection high-fat ice cream, covered in ganache, the crack cocaine of frozed dairy. Twelve hundred calories per pint, six hundred and eighty of which are fat calories, but is only dulls the pain for the moment, there's that carb fog while you're standing at the sink shoving it in your face, and then it's over and you feel...used. Like a cheap pickup the Dove people seduced and abandoned in your kitchen, leaving you with sticky hands and an empty cup and a still-broken heart, except now you're mad at Dove, too.”

“I went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast at any time" so I ordered French toast during the Renaissance.”

“Now what state do you live in?'”

“Gimme an S! A T! An O! A C! Followed by a K-H-O-L-M! What's it spell? HEAD FUCK.”

“How did you become blind, uh, Jeff is it?”

“I will remember this word," he said. "Shenanigans. It is a good word.”

“I love being in love, but I also love other things, like not being jealous, overly sensitive, or needy.”