Humor Quote by Woody Allen — Inspiring Words on Life, Love & Wisdom

“Because it's much more pleasant to be obsessed over how the hero gets out of his predicament than it is over how I get out of mine.”

“God is silent. Now if only man would shut up.”

“If God exists, I hope he has a good excuse.”

“I did not marry the first girl that I fell in love with, because there was a tremendous religious conflict, at the time.”

“To you, I'm an atheist.”

“I don't know the question, but sex is definitely the answer.”

“Stupidity is much the same all the world over. A stupid person's notions and feelings may confidently be inferred from those which prevail in the circle by which the person is surrounded. Not so with those whose opinions and feelings are an emanation from their own nature and faculties.”

“Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.”

“If you ever put a student at this school in danger again-'”

“Have you ever had a girlfriend, Kenji?”

“On Wednesday, when the sky is blue,”

“A friend is someone who knows where all your bodies are buried. Because they're the ones who helped you put them there.”