Humor Quote by Ambrose Bierce — Inspiring Words on Life, Love & Wisdom

“Quotation, n: The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.”

“The covers of this book are too far apart.”

“In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.”

“Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.”

“NIHILIST, n. A Russian who denies the existence of anything but Tolstoi. The leader of the school is Tolstoi.”

“Selfish, adj. Devoid of consideration for the selfishness of others.”

“I totally carpe-d the snot out of this diem!”

“I'm not absolutely certain of my facts, but I rather fancy it's Shakespeare -- or, if not, it's some equally brainy lad -- who says that it's always just when a chappie is feeling particularly top-hole, and more than usually braced with things in general that Fate sneaks up behind him with a bit of lead piping.”

“The sh*t's gonna splatter, start buggin, yo...”

“You're the queen, and it's the queen's house, and whatever Brigan may accomplish, he's highly unlikely ever to be queen.”

“No' is a magical word," he told her. "Here's how it goes. You say, 'Simon, I have an insane, suicidal plan. Would you like to help me carry it out?' And I say, "Why, no.”

“Popularity's a weird thing. You can't really define it, and it's not cool to talk about, but you know it when you see it. Like a lazy eye, or porn.”