Humor Quote by James Patterson — Inspiring Words on Life, Love & Wisdom

“You mean other than the wings? I once ate nine snicker bars in a row without barfing. It was a record.”

“And you're blind?”

“I didn't know a van could go up on two wheels like that, for so long." -Nudge”

“Marty, my mother used to say "Never get greedy with God." I think what she meant was "Don't dare ask for more if you already have what you need."”

“Listen, street punk. You're a guy, and you're a couple inches taller, and maybe forty pounds heavier, and ooh, you're in a gang. But I've survived ten years of Catholic school, and I will cut you off at your knees without a blink. Do you understand?”

“How did you become blind, uh, Jeff is it?”

“I've begun worshipping the sun for a number of reasons. First of all, unlike some other gods I could mention, I can see the sun. It's there for me every day. And the things it brings me are quite apparent all the time: heat, light, food, and a lovely day. There's no mystery, no one asks for money, I don't have to dress up, and there's no boring pageantry. And interestingly enough, I have found that the prayers I offer to the sun and the prayers I formerly offered to 'God' are all answered at about the same 50% rate.”

“I think hiccup cures were really invented for the amusement of the patient's friends.”

“Where were you born?”

“You smell good," he whispered into my neck. He was warm against me. Instinctively, I arched back into him and smiled.”

“Who was the guy who first looked at a cow and said 'I think I’ll drink whatever comes out of these when I squeeze ’em?”

“It may help to understand human affairs to be clear that most of the great triumphs and tragedies of history are caused, not by people being fundamentally good or fundamentally bad, but by people being fundamentally people.”