Humor Quote by Darynda Jones — Inspiring Words on Life, Love & Wisdom

“There is a great need for a sarcasm font.”

“I may not look like much, but I'm an expert at pretending to be a ninja.”

“Never knock on death's door. Ring the doorbell then run. He totally hates that.”

“You called me at four thirty-four....I hate four thirty-four. I think four thirty-four should be banned and replaced with something more reasonable, like, say, nine twelve.”

“At first, I could lie about my lack of sleep and she'd fall for it, but she started suspecting insomnia when I began seeing purple elephants in the air vents at the office. I knew I shouldn't have asked her about them. I thought maybe she'd redecorated.”

“You know you have ADD when Look A chicken - T-shirt”

“I'll take the cemetery," Kane said. He didn't sound excited. Rather, he sounded resigned. "The club might collapse if I go.”

“I get it,' said the prisoner. 'Good Cop, Bad Cop, eh?'”

“Never knock on death's door. Ring the doorbell then run. He totally hates that.”

“If reassurances could dull pain, nobody would ever go to the trouble of pressing grapes.”

“I called Vee.”

“What's up?" [asked Ford.]”