Humor Quote by Steven Wright — Inspiring Words on Life, Love & Wisdom

“There is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.”

“I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done.”

“It was the first time I was ever in love, and I learned a lot. Before that I'd never even thought about killing myself.”

“Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.”

“You know how it is when you're reading a book and falling asleep, you're reading, reading... and all of a sudden you notice your eyes are closed? I'm like that all the time.”

“I was sad because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet. So I said, "Got any shoes you’re not using?”

“...cursing my heels and debating whether it was faster to stop and take them off--damn ankle straps!--or keep running with the potential neck breakers. Wouldn’t that make a charming epitaph? Here lies Cat. Killed not by fang, but Ferragamos.”

“I've been accused of vulgarity. I say that's bullshit.”

“Look!" said Foaly, pointing with some urgency into the vast steel-gray gloom, "Someone who cares!”

“[Myrnin to Claire about their costumes of Pierrot and Harlequin, respectively]”

“Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car.”

“When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity.”