Humor Quote by Jennifer Crusie — Inspiring Words on Life, Love & Wisdom

“Emilio appeared with wine before Cal could say anything, and Min beamed at him, grateful for the rescue. "Emilio, my darling. I forgot to mention cake boxes. Two hundred cake boxes.”

“What i'm trying to tell you," Min said, "is that im going to grow up to be one of those chubby old ladies. It's in my genes. Like self raising flour. i'm going to pouf.”

“Bet you ten bucks we make it.”

“I could shove this swizzle stick through his heart, Min thought. She wouldn’t do it, of course. The stick was plastic and not nearly pointed enough on the end. Also people didn’t do things like that in Southern Ohio. A sawed-off shotgun, that was the ticket.”

“His sentences didn't seem to have any verbs, which was par for a politician. All nouns, no action.”

“You want sensitive and understanding, stick with the therapist.You want great,”

“Do you realize how hard it is to keep your mind clear when somebody’s telling you to keep your mind clear?”

“As you get older; you've probably noticed that you tend to forget things. You'll be talking with somebody at a party, and you'll know that you know this person, but no matter how hard you try, you can't remember his or her name. This can be very embarassing, especially if he or she turns out to be your spouse.”

“What's the whole point of being pretty on the outside when you’re so ugly on the inside?”

“Familiarity breeds contempt and children.”

“If you want to be seen, stand up.”

“I've always known I was gay, but it wasn't confirmed until I was in kindergarten.”