Humor Quote by James Patterson — Inspiring Words on Life, Love & Wisdom

“So the first thing we're gonna do," I told him, "is push you off the roof.”

“How did you become blind, uh, Jeff is it?”

“Some kids get called 'bundles of joy' or 'slices of heaven' or 'dreams come true.' We got 'the fifty-fourth generation of DNA experiments.' Doesn't have the same warm and fuzzy feel. But maybe I'm oversensitive.”

“He could totally be your boyfriend," [Angel] went on with annoying persistance. "You guys could get married. I could be like a junior bridesmaid. Total could be your flower dog.”

“I want to do it too!" (sitting motionless)”

“That was the funniest thing I'd heard in days.”

“Then why are you here?” Emma demanded. “Oh, is this one of those missed-connections things? We met the other night, you felt a spark? Sorry, but I don’t date trees.”

“In the world according to Garp, we are all terminal cases”

“Yeah. Floyd is his batman.”

“The French have a new president, the British will soon have a new P.M., and we envy them as we endure the endless wait for this small dim man to go back to Texas and resume his life.”

“Could you hold the chainsaw a bit closer to your mouth, please?”

“God, I love a man who reads”