Humor Quote by Christopher Moore — Inspiring Words on Life, Love & Wisdom

“Hope is bulletproof, truth just hard to hit”

“Oh, sweetie, I'm sorry, you can't have a baby brother, because that would mean that Daddy had sex, and that's never going to happen again.”

“I've tried to get the angel to watch MTV so I can learn the vocabulary of your music, but even with the gift of tongues, I'm having trouble learning to speak hip-hop. Why is it that one can busta rhyme or busta move anywhere but you must busta cap in someone's ass? Is "ho" always feminine, and "muthafucka" always masculine, while "bitch" can be either? How many peeps in a posse, how much booty before baby got back, do you have to be all that to get all up in that, and do I need to be dope and phat to be da bomb or can I just be "stupid"? I'll not be singing over any dead mothers until I understand.”

“He was a writer and words were his weapons.”

“Canada is a myth people made up to entertain children, like the Tooth Fairy. There’s no such place.”

“A fire broke out backstage in a theatre. The clown came out to warn the public; they thought it was a joke and applauded. He repeated it; the acclaim was even greater. I think that's just how the world will come to an end: to general applause from wits who believe it's a joke.”

“Hmm…” Jason snapped his fingers. “I can call a friend for a ride.”

“The mind is a complex and many-layered thing, Potter... or at least, most minds are...”

“I hate patience. Slows everything down.”

“From the moment I picked up your book until I put it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.”

“I love you above all things, even pie.”