Humor Quote by Steven Wright — Inspiring Words on Life, Love & Wisdom

“It was the first time I was ever in love, and I learned a lot. Before that I'd never even thought about killing myself.”

“Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.”

“I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.”

“Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.”

“I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done.”

“Everyone has a photographic Memory, some just don't have film.”

“WATNEY: Look! A pair of boobs! -> (.Y.).”

“Just about everything in this world is easier said than done, with the exception of "systematically assisting Sisyphus's stealthy, cyst-susceptible sister," which is easier done than said.”

“I will describe my eyes and then begin the story. My eyes are blue and resplendent. Now I will begin the story.”

“I can't abide people who go soft over animals and then cheat every human they come across!”

“If we're going to the Silent City, you might want to get dressed. I mean, I appreciate the bra-and-panties look, but I don't know if the Silent Brothers will. There are only a few of the left, and I don't want them to die of excitement.”

“The hand on my hair moved to my back, and I realized someone was singing softly. The voice was familiar, and something about it made my chest ache. Well, that was to be expected. Angels' songs would be awfully poignant.”