Humor Quote by Becca Fitzpatrick — Inspiring Words on Life, Love & Wisdom

“Do you sleep naked?”

“You don't happen to have a thousand dollars I can borrow?”

“Don't blame me. Tell your mom to move closer. Tell her there's this new club called civilization and you guys should join.”

“I called Vee.”

“Fine! I'll throw on some clothes. Turn around. I'm in my pj's”

“What does ‘hmm’ have to do with anything? Could you ever use more than five words? All this grunting and minced words make you come across—primal.”

“Gimme an S! A T! An O! A C! Followed by a K-H-O-L-M! What's it spell? HEAD FUCK.”

“There are any number of magical creatures, mostly female, whose singing can bring about horror and death. Sirens, undines, banshees, Bananarama tribute bands...”

“A totally nondenominational prayer: Insofar as I may be heard by anything, which may or may not care what I say, I ask, if it matters, that I be forgiven for anything I may have done or failed to do which requires forgiveness.  Conversely, if not forgiveness but something else may be required to insure any possible benefit for which I may be eligible after the destruction of my body, I ask that this, whatever it may be, be granted or withheld, as the case may be, in such a manner as to insure said benefit. I ask this in my capacity as your elected intermediary between yourself and that which may not be yourself, but which may have an interest in the matter of your receiving as much as it is possible for you to receive of this thing, and which may in some way be influenced by this ceremony. Amen.”

“Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you an automobile.”

“If you want some advice—which I'm sure you don't—you guys should lay off on the magic. Christian still thinks you're moving in on Lissa.”